A Korean Wedding Detail That’s Almost Gone

안녕하세요! Hyunwoo here.

The word of the day is 주례 [ju-rye].

What is it? If you’ve been to a Korean wedding before, you might have heard this word being mentioned during the ceremony. 주례 [ju-rye] is a traditional figure at Korean weddings, usually an older, respected person, who gives formal advice about how to lead a happy married life. (Like an “officiant” but also quite different.) And the speech by this person is called 주례사 [ju-rye-sa].

A typical Korean 결혼식 (wedding) goes like this:

• Mothers from both sides enter, walk down the aisle together and light the candles.
• The groom enters.
• The bride enters with her father.
• The bride and groom meet.
• In the past, a 주례 person would be invited by the MC to come up to the stage and say some wise words. This is the part that has changed lately.
• There’s a congratulatory song or another kind of performance.
• Photos are taken.
• Everybody goes to the restaurant to eat (unless food is served at the table).

And what’s really interesting is the fact that the role itself has almost disappeared. After becoming an adult in the late 90s, I think I’ve been to at least 150 different wedding ceremonies here in Korea so far. (Does it feel like a high number? It’s actually not. It’s pretty average. If you’re curious, I’ll write about it in a different post.) And for the past 6–7 years, I’ve only seen ONE Korean wedding that actually had a 주례 person. At the other 50 or so weddings, there was no 주례. So you can say the role has practically vanished from most weddings.

An “exception” that happens all the time?

At every single Korean wedding ceremony, however, the MC (사회자) still says the now well-anticipated line that goes: 오늘은 특별히 주례 없는 결혼식으로 진행될 예정입니다. It means “Today’s ceremony will be conducted without a 주례, by special arrangement.” The word 특별히 means “particularly” or “especially” or “as a special exception.”

Almost gone, but still mentioned every time

I was sitting at a wedding last weekend and started thinking about this very interesting situation, so I asked my friend who was sitting next to me, “When was the last time you went to a wedding that actually had a 주례? Do you remember?”

Her answer surprised me, because she had NEVER been to a wedding with a 주례 in it. At her own wedding a couple of years ago, they also didn’t have that role but still mentioned its absence.

I got married 14 years ago and it was absolutely normal to have a 주례 and my 주례 was my father’s childhood friend and I really enjoyed his humorous 10-minute speech. But nowadays, it’s really rare to see a wedding like that.

Maybe it’s just because the “script” or the “manual” hasn’t been updated yet by enough professional wedding MCs. Maybe I’ll finally attend a wedding next year that doesn’t even mention the absence of 주례. But it’s really interesting to know that we are going through this transitional period.

WHY did having a 주례 become such a rare event? I don’t have immediate answers ready, but I think that can be the topic for a different post.

Thank you for reading!